I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
