Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
