He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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