A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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