you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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