you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
