Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
