how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
