I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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