So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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