Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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