the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
