Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
