I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
honey bunches of taint.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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