what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
