Do you still have your period?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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