Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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