just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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