Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
