We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
