break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
