There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
