3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I cannot find my penis.
if only i could text you this smell
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
