What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
