his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
