I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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