How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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