so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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