Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
