threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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