Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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