Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
