So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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