grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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