i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
