That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
