I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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