He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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