I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
