And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
