shes about as inviting as chlamydia
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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