i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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