Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
