hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
