i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
