what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
