Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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