a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
