i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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