i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it because I queefed?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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