She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
