my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
